E-fucking-nuff already? How dumb do you think we are?

ASS-WHOOPIN' TIME.


WE'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!

Well, I have anyway. I'm goddamned tired of being spoon-fed bullshit. Let's just face the facts - BP, the government nor anyone else apparently has a reasonable idea of how to stop the torrential leak of crude into the gulf. Let's be clear - they never did. Not when they got approval for this operation, not when they built it, not when they started drilling and certainly the fuck not now.

This fucking ridiculous "step-by-step" pseudo solution is utter and wholly unmitigated bullshit. And now today after the latest catchily named fake solution, they're prepping us for the fact that we'll have to let it leak until August. Yeah. right. And then in August, just what the fuck do you think they'll be telling us then??? Dare we even contemplate that?

C'mon folks; are we now ready to throw in the towel and just live with it? Or, possibly worse, are we just feeling so fucked we can no longer even deal with it on any productive level? Should we ever again believe any of these fucking assholes that drilling in the ocean is "basically safe" and should be continued? Are we gonna turn our backs on it in a couple more weeks when it's become "old news"? (btw, I'll bet "yes" on this last one).

More importantly, will anyone actually do anything to assure this cannot happen again? (this is an obvious and resounding "NO. HELL NO").

Let us at least remain cognizant that we are being "fed" the bad news a bit and a bite at a time so that by the time the full impact and ultimate failure are "disclosed" to us, we won't really care all that much or, at very least, one heck of a lot less than we do right now.

This is a brilliant scheme to assure our acquiescence. Are we gonna fall for it?

Let's just say it now.... we're fucked. and while we're at it, let's admit that we're okay with being manipulated this way.

One final thought... BP says they've it's cost them almost a billion bucks so far. Get real people; not nly are we letting them get away with this... we'll also pay whatever the costs end up being ourselves, out of our own pockets at the gas pump. Ultimately, it won't cost BP's stockholders a fuckin' dime.

Harrumph. Harrumph I say to thee.....

WHAT THE F***??!!

Gentlemen, start your engines...



The board rooms of America are partyin' hearty this weekend. As well they should be - our elections are now LEGALLY for sale to the highest bidder.

"Yas, yas, yas; step right up Korporate Amerika; we're open for bidness. We'll take yer money and letchas have yer way with us - why who'da thunk you piggies had figgered out howta buy a handful of justices. Huh? What's that ya say - ya need an army? Sure, no prob; bidders can line up on the right. Hell no, ya don't need no number; this ain't no bakery - just flash your cash..."





While perhaps a moot point now (sadly), but one must still wonder by what reasoning they came up with such a thoroughly hosed conclusion. I've read it and still don't get the logic. So much for our constitution's highly touted "checks and balances" - out the window in a flash.



As far as I know, there's no legal means to impeach Supreme Court justices. From a practical standpoint, they answer to no one (well, based on this week's stunt, they clearly do, but it sure the Hell ain't you and it ain't me and, it ain't even the President or Congress).

My initial reaction was simply "What the fuck???!!!". Now however, after trying to wrap my brain around this travesty, that's been upgraded to "how the fuck??" and "Why the fuck???"

No doubt, the answer to both queries are closely integrated even as (the former) "we, the people" remain flummoxed and clueless. I kept thinking I was missing some subtle salient point of this decision; some esoteric and incognito nugget of wisdom buried within it. At this point, I think not. Plain and simple it is just as it appears - we've been roundly and soundly fucked.

In my admittedly naive view, the Constitution was established to define and protect the rights of "the people". Now unless, I'm mistaken, corporations are not people. They don't change diapers, they don't shop for groceries; they don't hafta get up in the middle of the night to pee. And, as I (until today), understood it, they DON'T get the right to vote or any of the other "rights" of the people. This decision gives the people that own the shares of these entities rights that the rest of us do not have.

Can the unholy 5 be tried for treason? Is that an option? Looks doubtful. And, if they could, who would be qualified to bring them up on charges? Who bought 'em? How much did they hafta pay? Did they get a discount for buyin' five at a crack?

I guess the silver lining in this debacle is that we can now do away with the legislature; they've just become superfluous. Come to think of it, we also no longer need the Judicial system. We should no longer have to pay any of their their salaries, expenses and lifetime free pension and insurance bennies; that should help out the deficit, eh?

Instead, now, all we need is an auctioneer to assure the highest price for a new law to be passed, a couple clerks to rubberstamp the paperwork and a cashier to take the money. And there'll no longer be a need to waste vast sums on conducting campaigns, elections and such; as of today, that's all become just window dressing.

Of course, all this also means we no longer can claim (however pathetically as of late) that we have a Democratic society. I suppose someone will eventually need to coin a new term for whatever this now is. Meanwhile, think of all the money we'll save, the pesky bother of having to vote and, all the other annoying challenges of facilitating governance by the mere "people". We could change the national anthem to Curtis Mayfield's "If there's a Hell below, we all gonna go" because, in practice AND in fact, we all just went.

Don't you think? Or don't you?

MR. MUUMFFALLA STRIKES AGAIN

THIS JUST IN (THOU DOG KNOWS WHY...):



Ja, boolaboola. Ep -so, boyomonkees, atsa some godamma kin'a pictch' you senname!

Remin' me o'when I eated some bad acid and foun' little sembaglembas runnin' all over Amber Manor with sharpened spooons and a wicked Gleem in they eyeteeths, ai-ai-ai. Remember? n' then they went an' painted little Jeezis' with really big ears all over the kitchen baseboards and then throwed crustyboogers (mine, not theirs) at 'em and would sing that creeepy little 'miko-miko-jojo-piko' song real loud whenever one of 'em managed to hit the jesus target - boy, I tellayou, that was a night to forget. Yet today, I still think'a they was related to Angelo.

Shemp-Fufu came over last night and tried to give me some o'his new plankton sausages butt I tol' him I only have eyes for a little wheel and saw that as no cause for sausitches. I think he was reallyreally PO'd but, he mighta been drinking - hard to tell these days with him. Anyway, he aska me "Whatzzamatta you, Blondee- are you ignorant or just apathetic??". well I tol' him! I said: "I don't know and I don't care."

Boyjesus, that REALLY setted him off on this long screedscreech that sounded to me an awful lot like that goofyshit Plato used to scrivvel about. No wonder Aristoddle peed on Plado's grave while Playdough's widow sang sarcastacanasta dirges in the outhouse the whole resta the afternoon and never got her tea and shake-n-bake-saganaki break whitchcourse made her even grouchier.

Butt I digress. Which is prolly okay cuz otherwise you'd hafta listenin' to me wheezin' on about what I foun' yes'day in Borleena's room while I was hosin' out the jubberytub receptacle. I bedder save that story though for some other time cuz, well, you just never know, it could be your lunchtime or somethin'.

Okay so yeah. I gotzabetterhafta hit the deck an' finish sprucin' up the jingleblaster machine before Mr. Quallornagazo comes home an' catches me loafin' again. I only get t'use the gaddam compooter when he's at the club. I sure hope he gets that promotion he wants so they'll send him away to Lembo-lembo. He'll really kindalike it there and, at that point then, I'll only hafta put up with Suzilou and her tribe o'rabidrampant wildebeests - And Sanduccia usually manages to keep them all preddywell occupie-eyed with him practicin' his occupuncture on 'em allafuggintime.

I know it's far from a perfect solution but in times like this, is did, is do.

Say hi to Tweelobarbra and Scruffy for me. Tell 'em I miss 'em both butt not really all that much; they'll like that.

Sander McDanderphilander
(purported heir to the prone)

YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING (FUCKTARDS!)

TO THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS (YES, ALL OF YOU...)

I don't know why I bother... you asshats never listen anyway. OK, first, go back and read the previous post. Then, read it again. And, for those of you a bit slower or denser than the rest; perhaps try reading it one more time.

REMINDER: a few months back, we elected a new president. Remember?? Now class, why did we decide to do that - do any of you recall? No? Okay, he was elected because we wanted someone who would take charge. In case you didn't notice, we're in kind of a fucked-up place these days. So, we the people, decided that we needed a leader who would not get bogged down in partisan political bullshit and who would put together a team of the best experts to try to unwind this insane Gordian knot of stinkybad juju that's placed us on the brink of utter meltdown. (yes, yes, I realize that's how it's normally done. But it's also how we let you all fuck things up so bad too so just pay attention and shut up).

And even though (you smug little naughty puppies, you), we also elected a number of you to your posts at the same time, we didn't really expect much out of any of you, Republican or Democrat alike. You were part of the deal but don't think that means you count in this case; you're there to do our bidding. And only that.

Sadly, in recent years, you've, almost without exception, proven to be little more than greedy, petulant, self-serving succubuses pretending to represent the interests of your respective constituencies while selling us all off to paddle our way in futility down the Styx. (So fuck you. Yes, all of you).

So, until further notice, just sit on your hands and shut the fuck up. There's a budget our new leader has proposed. Pass it. Now. And no whining. I said NONE. You don't know any better; you've had adequate opportunity to demonstrate that. We don't care what you think. We DO expect you to cooperate.

This, in case you're unaware, is a crisis. Your constituents that you claim to care so much about, are suffering. YOU, as a class, are NOT. Shall I repeat that?

The people have put their trust in Mr Obama's administration, NOT in any of you. We believe there might be a slim chance in Hell to put things back on track and we've chosen HIM and his team (that means "NOT YOU" by the way), to undertake this task.

So please, get with the program, shut the fuck up, stop whining and posturing and politicking and ass-kissing your wayward benefactors and slobbering lobbyists and just DO IT.

We've made your task simple and your instructions clear. In a nutshell, we expect you to comply; this is not a request; it's your marching orders.

Any questions???

LET'S 'PRETEND' WE'RE A DEMOCRACY (Shape up, dickheads!)

OWWWW!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!!!
Please, you bastards - let's not fuck it up...


You heard me, all of you Republican Party miscreants (traitors??).

Look. Just stop with all of your asinine partisan based posturing. Maybe even pretend for a while that saving our country just might be the teensiest bit more important than worrying about your next re-election and alla those lobbyists and their free "massages". Your nitwit pig-bastard rhetoric will be irrelevant anyway if there's no country left to 'lead' (sic)... Ya get it?

In case you missed it guys, a couple months ago we elected a new leader that 'we the people' fervently believe will give us our best shot at damage control. Our ship is listing badly, gentlemen. And we have but the slimmest of chances to right it before it's too late. So set aside your party bullshit and get with the plan. Now. Our new president has done an admirable job of assembling the best expert resources currently available. It's time to help them do the job we've assigned them. So just get the fuck out of the way and shut your goddamn mouths.

Stop obstructing this critical process and instead (for once), let's make things happen as they've been designed by these experts and stop pretending you know better somehow. You don't. That's painfully obvious to us all by now. So stop your whining and start signing.

Get on board and support these efforts without insisting on watering them down. We have to give this economic proposal a fair chance. Too little too late and we fail (again). We can't afford that. There's no more room for error and no time left for fixing it as we go along.

I'm no expert but, let's face it, it's painfully obvious that neither are any of you. And no, perhaps we can't absolutely guarantee the new administration's economic proposals will work. However, in case you have not yet noticed, we don't actually have any other options. And your stubborn "obstructions" will only help to assure failure instead of taking our best shot at possible success.

It's time for you all to start behaving like citizens of this country instead of marauding alien warlords. Pass the bill. stifle your whining. Get the Hell out of the way.

And get the job done. Now.

NICE WORK, ALL! NOW LET'S GET TO WORK. (& LET'S GO PURPLE TOO WHILE WE'RE AT IT)

CONGRATULATIONS AMERICA! COMMON SENSE AND JUSTICE HAS AT LAST PREVAILED!
HUZZAH! HUZAAH! 'Tis surely a momentous occasion and cause for celebration throughout the land!

Yesterday we demonstrated that "yes we can" get enough Americans to acquire a sufficient grasp on their sanity and actually dare (once again) to elect an honest, moral and highly intelligent (and potentially competent, we hope) candidate to be our next president.

Great; there is a Santa Claus(e) after all! And Santa done whooped dat ol' nasty-ass boogieman's sorrysaggy butt into oblivion...

A particularly vituperative take on all of this came from ThirdStone founding father, Admiral Pluto Krozabeeep. In a crankily terse statement issued by his office this morning he said: "Take that, Republican miscreants! And don't think we won't be watching you - you can all go and wear those goddam cheap orange and blue plaid sport coats from Wallymart. We won't be fooled. Or maybe you'll change the name of the your party - ask Rove if that might work; really! Fat Chance! Go ahead and try to continue your self-serving agendae in whatever idiot disguise you so choose. But guess what boys; whatever you try now, IT WON'T FUCKING WORK!! We're onto you.

For evermore, we'll still know who you are and, we will no longer be tolerating any of your dangerous and dreadful shenanigans. Have you no fucking shame whatsoever? Don't you see what you've done to the rest of us these past few years??!! And how you've brought the entire fucking world to the brink of doom and damnation?? And, most tellingly of all; just how little you actually give a damn? We'd love to give you all a conscience 'transplant' if it would help but, according to the limits of current science, it wouldn't work; in order to function compassionately and mindfully, a conscience requires both a heart AND a head working synergistically. So watch out, godless troglodytes.... we'll kick your asses from here to kingdom come! Twice!"

Personally, were I to dial down his vitriol a smidge, I'd have to pretty much agree with the goofy admiral's take on things. Yesterday was unprecedented history made right before our eyes. A paradigm shift of the highest order. Perhaps even the advent of the "omega-point" that could seed a long overdue shift of the collective consciousness. Okay, so that's probably asking a bit too much (and Locke's gonna feed me my head for breakfast for sayin' that). But in any case, we've just jointly witnessed and achieved a shift of a tectonic magnitude. Bully to that, I say!

Okay, we done good - a potent new mandate's done been writ. We've further 'decrappinated' the chambers of our Congress. SO WHAT'S NEXT?

Yeah, that's the REALLY BIG question now, ain't it? It's okay to give ourselves a coupla days of giddy euphoria. We really have accomplished something of critical and life-reaffirming importance. Now, not to put a damper on the party but.... let us 'rewind' to the midterm elections of 2006. Seems we all agreed that we'd turned a corner; we'd issued a loud and proud mandate-manifesto then when we swept Congress clear of a bunch more of those pesky Republicrats, right?

But then what happened? Um, yeah... We blithely assumed we'd done our job and that our Congress would then do its', in accordance with our wishes. And yet, that wasn't quite what happened now was it?

So, this time folks, we truly can't afford to let that happen again. Never have so many of us spoken so loudly and proudly of our country's desperate and immediate need for significant change. Because of our efforts, we appear to finally now have a helmsman with 'the stuff" it'll take to get us there. We've given him a legislature he can work synergistically with. Things are definitely looking up. Aren't they???

Yes. They are. That's a guarded "yes" however. Remember, any "change" we're to achieve, is still well into the future. And that means that our work as citizens is not over. So let's pat ourselves on the back and drink our celebratory toasts to a job well 'started" but then remember that it is also one we cannot consider 'done'.

Now then, let's get back to work; the election was the easy part. Now, we need to ride herd on the team we hired. And ride 'em hard. And watch their every move. And communicate frequently and lucidly with our representatives and our new President. We've got some genuine momentum here and, the processes of government being what they are, will require that we keep that momentum building. (And that we dial up our bullshit filters to "stun")

Our pathological cultural ADHD/short-attention-span tendencies aside, we've gotta learn to focus. And to stay focused. And not just to one day find ourselves uttering "oh shit; they've blown it. Guess we'll have to wait for the next election and "reissue" our mandate.

Uh-uh. It doesn't work that way. Or at least, not any more. If (to paraphrase somebody or other here), we're to see the change, we gotta BE the change ourselves.

(and thus ends the polemical screed-screech portion of today's post. Well... maybe).

As duly noted above, we all have our work cut out for us in facilitating the change our country sorely needs. I have a pet target of my own that I want to see accomplished before the next presidential election.

SO, WHILE WE'RE AT IT: LET'S GO PURPLE (NO MORE RED & BLUE, WHAT SAY YOU???)

Okay, so we're all agreed that we're on a new course here. Let's move on. Over time, numerous pundits have bemoaned the inherent imbalances, inequities and liabilities of our "two party" system though none, so far as I can find, has ever proposed a realistic analgesic for this dire pain. While I heartily agree that it's a problem, I also think there may be a way to mitigate a good deal of the dysfunction said system creates. "And what is that Mr. Smartypantsbigmouth?" I hear many of you asking. It's actually quite simple. In fact, it's an issue of "color".

BANISH THE ELECTORAL PRESIDENTIAL VOTING SCHEME.
(AND DO IT NOW!)

Red states. Blue states. Bah, humbug. Turn 'em all purple. Let's face it; they are anyway. The absurd and depraved notion that any one state is entirely 'for' any one candidate is an insult and a travesty. "We the People" are just that. Our Constitution empowered us all to each have our own vote in selecting our top leader. Sort of. Or at least it did until this demented scheme got plugged in to gum up the works.

At the time it did, there was perhaps some reasonable justification for doing so, mainly that the technological limitations and the complex logistics involved of compiling all our votes across great distances in a timely fashion truly was a dodgy and unwieldly policy.

But fast-forward to present times and we find that it now manifests as a complete mockery of our constitution's original intent while rendering us all essentially impotent.

Sure, our two major parties love it; it keeps any and all other possible parties from being part of the process in any significant way. Dog forbid some smart-alecky independent-minded citizens might actually have some good ideas of how to run our government by breaking away from those two ailing ideological streams of often questionable motivation. How could THAT be good for our precious country. Oh wait...that actually MIGHT be... okay, you see where this is going, don't you?

Aside from the important direct benefit of allowing other political schema to blossom and perhaps thrive and contribute something actually useful, there are other, even more important and compelling reasons to eradicate this ugly and truculent beast.

Like, letting our composite, in-toto popular vote actually determine who should be our leader. I've never heard one good reason why, since we now have the means to count ALL votes, the electoral college is still deemed to be a sounder, more rational idea. It's simply NOT!!! C'mon folks, I double-dare you: Why shouldn't the simple aggregate voice of ALL our country's voters be allowed to select our president?

Of course it should. So now we're forced to look at the reasons this diabolical strategy is still foisted upon us. Any 'good' ones out there? None that I can find... So why do we continue to allow it then? Seems we've more than enough reason to discontinue this inane practice.

First of all, it disenfranchises and demoralizes us. We're told that we should all be sure to get out and vote and then, in the same breath, reminded that our vote doesn't really count. By doing so, we assure ourselves of lower voter turnouts, voter apathy and ambivalence and for many of us, it creates discomfort and frustration when it 'paints' us the color of the state we live in. This is deeply sick and twisted. Aside from all of that, it simply offends the Hell out of me.

Do I need to remind anyone that this electoral system dementia is the sole reason we have had to suffer two terms of "Bush-Terrorism", economic collapse and human suffering? In 2000, "throwing" a whole state's electors to one (the wrong) side (with, of course, the errant complicity of our own Supreme Court), was enough to steal and seal the election for the unelected candidate. In 2004, the probable 'real' result of the popular vote would've swept Bush aside like so many fetid dustbunnies.

Don't we care? Is this evenly remotely sane or prudent? Should we continue to allow this to happen? Does the bear shit in the woods?

I'll grant you, I'll not likely be finding much support from the leaders of EITHER political party for this idea. Nor will the overly self-important po-mo media find favor with it... they have far too much fun "playing" incessantly with their infernal "color maps" and then spinning the story every which way every few minutes.

Again, there's no sound reason for it and absolutely NO benefit to our country for it. Let's make sure that its abolition occurs before 2012

adapted from Wikipedia:
The United States is the last remaining example of a country having an indirectly elected executive president, with an electoral college made up of electors representing the 50 states and one federal district. Each state has a number of electors equivalent to its total Congressional representation (in both houses), with the non-state District of Columbia receiving three electors and other non-state territories having no electors. The electors generally cast their votes according to the winner of the popular vote in their respective states, but are not required by law to do so.

These 'renegade' electors are referred to as "faithless electors". Some states do require its electors to cast their vote in accordance with the majority of the popular vote. However, in 26 states, it is legal for these to vote for other than the candidate that received the majority of the state's votes. Now THAT's kinda interestin', ain't it??

So now we see that, not only does our vote actually count even LESS than previously believed but, it doesn't necessarily go to our candidate of choice!!

I'm sure any one of us could cite other reasons to dismantle the electoral college. Please add them as 'comments' to this post. We need to compose a bullet-proof argument to stop this monster dead in its tracks before it can be allowed to do us further harm.

And as we move forward from today, our great day of triumph, let's all remember to maintain our vigilance in the coming weeks and months. And to all promise each other that we'll make ourselves heard to those we've placed in charge. If we are ever to evolve into a true democracy, we need to take steps right now to correct our previously wayward and bumpy path. It's not good enough to merely call ourselves a democracy. We all have to do our part to learn to actually function as one by letting our elected 'hired-hands' in on the fact that there's a new boss in town who's gonna be keepin' a sharp eye on their shenanigans and that new boss's name ain't spelled O-B-A-M-A; it's spelled U-S.

(special thanks to Admiral Pluto Krozabeeep for providing us with his astoundingly ornery and petulant rantings yet again. And, of course, to all of you for voting us into the new "promised land". Let's hope it can keep its promises this time. Dog speed)

OKAY, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...

are we finally clear on this???

most of the comments I read on election blog posts read like just another partisan slugfest.

There's a week to go-so let's clear the air folks, okay? This ain't rocket science.

Gov. Palin has adequately demonstrated two things: 1 she's in no way qualified to lead this country should that become necessary. 2. She (like most of us, I might add) has her own interests as her priority.

As for Senator McCain, have a look at this first:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEtZlR3zp4c

Okay. So much for part one of the equation. But, in addition to all of THAT, Senator McCain has now demonstrated that he is no longer the McCain we thought he was these many years.

In his present form, he is clearly not fit to lead our country (and, by his own admission of the 'things' he's not well-versed in!). His campaign reached new lows in trading in outright lies and hate. Electing the man who can say "I'm John McCain and I approve these lies and tactics" would clearly be a tragic error. How on Earth could we ever expect him to tell US the truth? Or act in our best interests?

Merely saying all campaigns are dirty in order to rationalize such abhorrent behaviour and lack of integrity will NOT cut it this time. It's gone too far and, there's too much at stake.

As such, sad as that may be to some, we only have one sane/safe choice. And Senator McCain himself has already made that choice for us with his childish behaviour and sordid campaign.