TO THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS (YES, ALL OF YOU...)
I don't know why I bother... you asshats never listen anyway. OK, first, go back and read the previous post. Then, read it again. And, for those of you a bit slower or denser than the rest; perhaps try reading it one more time.
REMINDER: a few months back, we elected a new president. Remember?? Now class, why did we decide to do that - do any of you recall? No? Okay, he was elected because we wanted someone who would take charge. In case you didn't notice, we're in kind of a fucked-up place these days. So, we the people, decided that we needed a leader who would not get bogged down in partisan political bullshit and who would put together a team of the best experts to try to unwind this insane Gordian knot of stinkybad juju that's placed us on the brink of utter meltdown. (yes, yes, I realize that's how it's normally done. But it's also how we let you all fuck things up so bad too so just pay attention and shut up).
And even though (you smug little naughty puppies, you), we also elected a number of you to your posts at the same time, we didn't really expect much out of any of you, Republican or Democrat alike. You were part of the deal but don't think that means you count in this case; you're there to do our bidding. And only that.
Sadly, in recent years, you've, almost without exception, proven to be little more than greedy, petulant, self-serving succubuses pretending to represent the interests of your respective constituencies while selling us all off to paddle our way in futility down the Styx. (So fuck you. Yes, all of you).
So, until further notice, just sit on your hands and shut the fuck up. There's a budget our new leader has proposed. Pass it. Now. And no whining. I said NONE. You don't know any better; you've had adequate opportunity to demonstrate that. We don't care what you think. We DO expect you to cooperate.
This, in case you're unaware, is a crisis. Your constituents that you claim to care so much about, are suffering. YOU, as a class, are NOT. Shall I repeat that?
The people have put their trust in Mr Obama's administration, NOT in any of you. We believe there might be a slim chance in Hell to put things back on track and we've chosen HIM and his team (that means "NOT YOU" by the way), to undertake this task.
So please, get with the program, shut the fuck up, stop whining and posturing and politicking and ass-kissing your wayward benefactors and slobbering lobbyists and just DO IT.
We've made your task simple and your instructions clear. In a nutshell, we expect you to comply; this is not a request; it's your marching orders.
Any questions???
